So, I feel shitty. Am I allowed to say shitty here? Ah, its my blog, Ill do what I please.
I just have not been very….together lately.
My dad and I are doing ‘lent’, or, since we started the day after it ends, Im calling it ‘fent’. Fake lent. We gave up sweets. No cookies, brownies, cake, pie…anything like that. Im also trying to give up peanut butter. Binge food. But I had some today. I had a lot of it today. Like I said, binge food.
I just cant lose weight. My body refuses to lose weight from my stomach and arms. They’re chubby. CHUBBY, I say. I dont care what anyone else says. I dont. They dont have to wake up and look in the mirror at this stomach that refuses to stop looking like a dang tire around my waist.
But wait, Im the fastest girl on my track team. I can run for a very long time at a pretty fast pace. Should my weight matter? No, apparently Im healthy. Thats the sane side of me talking. Because while I run, Im embarassed, actually embarassed to be out there with my stomach sticking out of my shirt!!! If someone wanted to race me, I could whup their butt, but I would envy them if they were skinnier than I.
How bad is that? I eat healthy. For the most part. But there are many women out there who eat all day long (even though its insanely healthy), indulge every now and then, dont exercise some days, and still get to be skinny! I cant eat 3 meals a day and lose weight. I just cant.
This sucks.
We have allllll been there, buddy. ALL OF US. Well, not all of us, but MOST of us and it is, indeed, a struggle. Here’s the problem: Perfection. Striving to be that “perfect” self is what’s trapping you… You don’t want to be inprisoned by an obsession with perfection, you know? And NOT to judge that yours is an obsession, but mine at one point got there and…here’s the catch22…It never got any better. No matter how much I DID change, it didn’t matter. Right now I’m reading an AMAAAZING book that, honest to G-d, has me in tears every time I read it because of how much it speaks to my experiences, and the experiences of SO many people I know. And I know, I know SO many ppl say that, but this one is IT. And although your struggles may not get easier, it’s SO incredible to read this and realize that this isn’t YOU…It’s not who you really are. It’s called, INTUITIVE EATING and it’s already helped me release so much and I’m not even half way through. GO BUY IT! If you dont want to, I’ll send you mine, I promise. Try to breathe and remember girl, be kind to yourself…you’re really the only one who can end this SHIT (yes, it’s allowed…haha)
Thank you so much. All that you said helps so much. And Ill go buy the book, but thank you for offering to send it to me! Ive actually been looking for a good book to read about this stuff, so thanks for recommending one
<3
You’ll be blown away
And I added you to my blogroll and just wanted to make sure that was OKAY! So let me know girl! Hope you’re feeling betterr
I know what you mean. I HATE my arms right now, they don’t seem to shrink at all. And having to wear the bodybugg on my upper right arm makes me SO self concious about my arm (I started calling it “fat arm” or “chubs”). And the stomach thing? Part of the reason why I HATE jumping exercises. I feel like all anyone is going to see is my stomach bouncing around… or worse, it will come slap me in the face as I look down to make sure I’m jumping onto my targets! UGH. We all have similar frustrations, but it is all about working through them to improve them – AND put more focus on parts of your body you DO love. Like for me, though I hate my chubby arms, I LOVE my shoulders – they are strong and defined, and I love wearin anything I can bare them in.
And, though it is a little plump – I love my booty!! I’m not big in the chest area, so I love that most men are but guys! I’m definitely packing some junk in my trunk, and I love it. 
Just be true to yourself and be sure to see the good!!
Thanks so much, you guys. Its nice to know theres other bloggers out there I can relate to…
Chandra- I have a nice booty, too! Haha, and I love my legs, because Im a runner. My arms and stomach are a little chubby (to me) but…oh well!